When my cousin was diagnosed with Autism about 15 years ago as a toddler, the family’s reaction was a combination of “huh?” and “oh no.” This was when we didn’t know what to expect – we had a deep level of uncertainty when we wondered how he would grow up, how he would function and how the heck we would act around him, as if he were going to communicate to us through interpretive dance.

Watching him grow up, my family realized that his diagnosis was simply something that made him different, which is what we all are in the end. We also learned that Autism is a spectrum in every sense of the word – a spectrum of eclectic, random, unexplainable behaviors that almost always made us smile. I say “almost” because last Christmas, he decided to go around asking everyone if they wore a bra. But what’s a holiday without some uncomfortable discussions, right?

Below, I attempted to categorize a few of these hilarious, completely unscripted, sometimes embarrassing moments that present themselves when you least expect it. Perhaps you can relate to one or two (or all).

The Release: The release comes in many forms. It can be flailing your limbs like a chicken with its head cut off, it can be a sudden shout out, or it can be a claw.

Obsession: All kids go through obsessions, no doubt. But if your child is on the spectrum, you know an obsession becomes their life. At least for that year.

No Words vs. Word Vomit: You may or may not have had the following conversation.

Me: “J, how was school?”

J: “Yes.”

Me: “J, that’s not how you answer that question! How was school?”

J: “Yes.”

Me: “Ok – what’s your favorite subject?”

J: “Yes.”

Me: “What do you want for Christmas?”

J: “Iron Man!”

A child of few, but wisely selected words. His usual sentence is about one word in length, but it’s cool. That’s J. On the other end of this spectrum, you might have had this conversation.

“A, the waitress is here, it’s time to order your food!”

…

…

…

“HI I LIKE YOUR HAIR I’LL HAVE THE BURGER PLEASE.”

Observations: I have wondered too often how my cousin absorbs information from the world around him, and why one day when he came over, he continuously made references to a rather popular late 90s dramedy about a young female lawyer in Boston. Yes, that’s right – my cousin was pretty interested in Ally McBeal when he was roughly 10 years old. Did he understand the show? No. Of course not. But for some odd reason, he was enamored by replays of this show that had ended two years after he was born. This was a riot. Just picture a 10-year-old screaming “ALLY MCBEAL!” while flailing around your backyard.

There are no doubt difficult times when raising a child with special needs, but the moments where we shrug off the worry and let loose with them are invaluable. When I think of J, I think of his silly quirks and traits, because nothing puts a smile on my face quite like his carefree spontaneity. And hopefully next year, he will stop talking about bras.